This natural journey began roughly 2 1/2 years ago for me, so I have a history with the perm. I don't recall ever being asked if I would perm my child's hair simply because my hair was permed as well. Now, since this movement is still fairly new in the world of AA hair, it didn't get much thought from most. We knew that if you had a little beauty you would maintain their little ponytails until it was time for it to get pressed or flat ironed(your age will answer that question for you) and you did that until you graduated to the "Kiddie Perm"...and you know the rest. That's just how it was. Now with the knowledge that's been passed around, I don't feel obligated to ask those with perms if they intend to perm their child's hair. Which makes me wonder, why is it ok for me to be asked that question? Why is choosing my preference for my child's hair on display, like I'm choosing Alabama or Auburn? Am I forced to declare?
I can't speak for everyone, but for me it comes down to knowing better and doing better. Any decision I make on behalf of my children are based on the assurance that I am doing what I deem best for my child. I have chosen to teach my child to love the hair that comes out of her head naturally. I don't see any benefits of putting poison on my child's scalp and falling victim to the scalp burns, potent chemical smells and potentially cancer causing mixture being placed on her hair. Anything that will eat rust from a nail or eat a whole through meat is not meant to be placed on her scalp or my scalp. But this is a preference. If I could have it my way every little girl would be taught to love the hair that comes from her head, but I don't.
So...in the end I look at this issue the same way I look at other issues concerning parenting; I will teach my child what I think is best. My best may be different than someone else, but who am I to judge? Will I put a perm in her hair? I don't really see it happening in the future, but if she chooses to do the latter later on in life I won't judge her either. But lets just hope she chooses to follow in her mommy's footsteps on this one.
What are your personal thoughts? Have you experienced this concerning your child's hair? How about other alternative lifestyles?
Hi!!
ReplyDeleteWe met at the Mhe Magazine Launch Party!! Your blog is looking great! Keep it going!
It was so nice meeting you!
Blessings on your endeavors!
Some relaxed women told me that they feel some natural women look down on them for being relaxed. One lady even said she felt like some acted as though it was a cult to be natural. I personally never try to persuade anyone one way or the other. I get many questions mostly from women I don't know about my hair and lately it has been how I styled my hair a certain way. When I first went natural I did have to come into my own acceptance of the way my hair looked and I did have to adjust my hair care routine after learning what my hair liked. Now I rock the styles that suit my lifestyle and I hope my confidence inspires other women to embrace the texture that grows naturally from their scalp.
ReplyDeleteWe hear of alot of relaxed women as well complaining that natural women look down on them. Majority of the natural women that we know feel that they want to educate women on their hair, but what if they already know the implication and choose to still relax their hair? Most naturals are so excited about their hair and the movement.
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